As a human being, feeling lonely is quite natural. All of us experience loneliness at times. However, we feel the loneliest when we are feeling lonely in our marriage. If you are one of them who experience feelings of loneliness in their marriage, you may doubt that it’s your own fault, and may blame yourself for the flaws in your marriage.
That’s because the way we look at marriage has been taught to us from a very young age. In a marriage, two people work as a unit, and if a partner is lonely in the union or something goes wrong, they may blame themselves for being flawed, instead of their partner.
So, if loneliness within your marriage is disturbing you, then there are certain things you need to look into, and also take steps that would help you overcome those feelings of loneliness.
Here is some advice for you:
1. Find out the cause behind your lonely feelings
The first step is to figure out why you feel lonely. Do you feel that you are not seeing your partner enough, or do you think that the communication between the two of you isn’t enough? Once you are able to figure out the exact reason behind your loneliness, you can proactively start finding solutions to the problems in your marriage.
2. Find out whether the loneliness is permanent or temporary
Feelings of loneliness are fleeting and temporary at times, whereas at other times, they can travel much deeper and not want to go. You need to find out whether these feelings of loneliness would go away after after sometime on their own, or if they have impacted you deeply and are likely to stay for a long time. Feeling lonely becomes harder when one’s partner is supposed to be with them. To tackle the issues in your marriage in the best way, ensure that you think about the issues clearly and determine exactly how difficult the issues are.
3. Look for distractions
Affairs are not the solution for every issue in a marriage. Rather, for different problems and for different people, the solutions are different. So, look for suitable distractions that can deviate your attention from the issue that has been troubling you. If loneliness is the issue, search for company. If you lack activity, you may choose a hobby if you feel that would strengthen your marriage.
4. Pay attention to yourself
Although marriage is all about two individuals, but you should keep in mind that you are an individual out of the two. It’s easy to think that people need to sacrifice themselves for their marriage, however, this is not the case mostly. So, pay attention to yourself and take care of yourself. If you aren’t at your best, your spouse too would find it difficult to be at their best.
5. Remind your partner of the experiences you shared together
Consider watching the video of your wedding or your children’s wedding, together with your spouse. Look at old vacation and family pictures together with your partner. In this way, both of you would remember the happier times when you and your partner were more connected.
Apply these ideas and you will gradually find the distance between you and your partner disappearing. The feelings of loneliness would soon begin to fade away, and you can step towards building a more warm, loving and fulfilling marriage.
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